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Qwyjibo Disestablishmentarianists (56-49, 6 GB)
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Owner
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John Hula / Email Team
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| Manager |
Bartholomew J. Simpson |
| Stadium |
The Android's Dungeon |
| Mascot |
Kang and Kodos |
| Team Motto / Rallying Cry / Fight Song / Favorite Overused Cliché |
we're talkin' softball |
| Cash Balance* |
2979 |
| *In Thousands |
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Instant Messaging/Twitter: |
None listed
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Team History | | Franchise Record | 254-346 (.423) | Highest Finish: 3rd (2024, 2022, 2021) | | | Owner Record | 254-346 (.423) 4 years | Closest Finish 15 GB (2021) | | Most Wins | 70 (2021) | | | Most Losses | 97 (2023) | | Bottom Feeder Champ: 2022 |
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| Last Updated 8/7/2025 |
Player information semi-accurate as of 8/5/2025 |
Current Roster/Lineup
| Slot | Name | ML Team | Pos | Auth Pos | Salary | Status | Contract |
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| L7 | Lourdes Gurriel | Ari | OF | OF | 1968 | | 2025 | | S2 | Luis Severino | Ath | | SP | 2031 | | 2025 | | L4 | Tyler Soderstrom | Ath | DH | 1B, OF | 246 | | | | L9 | Ozzie Albies | Atl | 2B | 2B | 2080 | | 2025 | | M | Ian Anderson | Atl | | SP, RP | 187 | m | | | pr | Wehiwa Aloy | Bal | | SS | 100 | m | | | M | Heston Kjerstad | Bal | | OF | 122 | m | | | R3 | Aroldis Chapman | Bos | | RP | 1245 | | 2026* | | B1 | Romy Gonzalez | Bos | | 1B, 2B, SS, 3B, OF | 237 | | | | L2 | Dansby Swanson | ChC | SS | SS | 2580 | | | | P2 | Andrew Abbott | Cin | | SP | 1641 | | 2026 | | T | Christian Encarnacion-Strand | Cin | | 1B | 202 | m | | | T | Hunter Greene | Cin | | SP | 2739 | IL | 2025 | | S1 | Nick Lodolo | Cin | | SP | 663 | IL | 2026* | | B2 | Nolan Jones | Cle | | OF | 603 | | | | M | Colson Montgomery | CWS | | SS, 3B | 100 | | | | M | Hagen Smith | CWS | | SP | 100 | m | | | T | Steven Wilson | CWS | | RP | 233 | | | | R1 | Kyle Finnegan | Det | | RP | 1696 | | 2025 | | M | Jackson Jobe | Det | | RP, SP | 100 | IL | | | P3 | Casey Mize | Det | | SP | 528 | | 2027* | | P5 | Clayton Kershaw | LAD | | SP | 710 | | | | B3 | Hyeseong Kim | LAD | | 2B, OF | 100 | IL | | | T | Michael Kopech | LAD | | RP | 1431 | IL | | | R6 | Anthony Bender | Mia | | RP | 269 | | | | pr | Victor Mesa Jr. | Mia | | OF | 100 | m | | | M | Dane Myers | Mia | | OF | 129 | | | | M | Connor Norby | Mia | | 3B, 2B | 230 | IL | | | L1 | Byron Buxton | Min | OF | OF | 1124 | IL | 2027* | | T | Austin Martin | Min | | OF, 2B | 283 | | | | R2 | Camilo Doval | NYY | | RP | 1473 | | 2026* | | IR | Jared Jones | Pit | | SP | 709 | IL | | | P4 | Mitch Keller | Pit | | SP | 2620 | | | | R4 | Adrian Morejon | SD | | RP | 949 | | | | pr | Colt Emerson | Sea | | SS | 100 | m | | | pr | Harry Ford | Sea | | C | 100 | m | | | S3 | Emerson Hancock | Sea | | SP | 262 | m | | | L8 | Patrick Bailey | SF | C | C | 887 | | | | B6 | Andrew Knizner | SF | | C | 190 | | | | R5 | JoJo Romero | StL | | RP | 390 | | | | L3 | Junior Caminero | TB | 3B | 3B | 195 | | 2027* | | B4 | Taylor Walls | TB | | SS | 435 | | | | P1 | Jacob deGrom | Tex | | SP | 398 | | 2027* | | L6 | Adolis Garcia | Tex | OF | OF | 3479 | | | | B5 | Jonah Heim | Tex | | C | 1305 | | | | M | Kumar Rocker | Tex | | SP | 100 | m | | | M | Emiliano Teodo | Tex | | SP | 100 | m | | | L5 | Ty France | Tor | 1B | 1B | 1680 | | | | pr | Arjun Nimmala | Tor | | SS | 100 | m | |
*The salary for the current season for this player was paid in full. Cutting this player or trading this player away will earn the team a prorated salary rebate. If another team picks up this player in a trade, they will pay a prorated portion of this season's salary.
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Roster Limits
| Roster Minimums |
Roster Maximums |
| Category |
Current Value |
Category |
Current Value |
| Minimum Hitters (15) |
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Hitters over 250 (21) |
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| Minimum Pitchers (14) |
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Pitchers over 250 (20) |
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| Multiposition players - can fill hitter or pitcher role |
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Players over 250 (35) |
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Players in minor league (10) |
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Total 45-man Roster Size - minimum 29 - maximum
45 |
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| These players don't count against your 40-man limit |
| Players on IR (max 1): |
Prospects (max 5): |
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